


Our First Christmas

by sczrhead



Series: 25 Days of FicMas 2020 [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 25 Days of Fic-mas, Alone on Christmas, Christmas, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, angst without happy ending, heavy grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27910117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sczrhead/pseuds/sczrhead
Summary: Prompt 4: This is my first Christmas without you and I'm struggling to do all the things we normally do together
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: 25 Days of FicMas 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2037517
Kudos: 11





	Our First Christmas

Harry died during the Battle of Hogwarts. His instructions to Ron and Hermione were what saved the Wizarding World though. Voldemort did die that day, but so did Harry, and Draco, he was struggling the most out of everyone. Once the battle was over and the war was won, it finally was revealed that Draco and his family had been spies and very few people knew, almost all who did know, died at Hogwarts that day, except for Ron and Hermione. They were the ones who spoke for the Malfoy family’s innocence. 

It hurt for Draco, to pretend to fight on the other side of the war, to pretend to fight against Harry, but he knew that was how to keep his family safe, to keep his boyfriend safe. But in the end, it turns out that didn’t matter, Harry still died, and Draco and his family were still put on trial. 

The time after the battle was spent healing. Healing the castle, healing physical wounds, healing emotional wounds, healing. When the castle was repaired, which didn’t take more than a few months with all the help that was offered, and everyone who passed had been buried, with a funeral fit for the sacrifices they made, everyone began to feel a little better. 

Draco grieved though, he grieved for the loss of his love for so long that he began to forget what it was like to not be burdened by such a horrible sadness. As all things do, time passed, and suddenly it was December, and Draco’s family were planning a Christmas party, to either forget for a day or something. Draco didn’t really care though, he didn’t want to celebrate Christmas without Harry. He thought last year would be the only one when he would have to be without Harry. 

They started dating in their sixth year, their relationship had barely even gotten up off the ground, but they were still obsessed with each other. Draco understood why Harry left, he understood why he didn’t get to see Harry much at all after Hogwarts in their sixth year. Everything they did, it felt rushed, their first time together, their first dates, everything happened as if the end of the world, and it a way, it was. But all the same, Draco loved him, always had, and when the time came, and Harry died, Draco was crushed. 

He only got to spend one Christmas with Harry, and it was overshadowed by the stress of Draco’s duties as a Death Eater and a spy, and the fact that he couldn’t tell Harry anything. But even so, Harry stood by him, supported him through everything, and made sure that Draco knew that he was loved. Draco made promises to Harry, and Harry made promises to him. None of them were kept. 

Harry died, and no promises were kept. All the promises of spending every second together when the war ended, of celebrating every holiday together, nothing was kept, and oftentimes, Draco found himself so angry. Why would Harry promise these things to Draco if he couldn’t keep them? 

One day Draco came down to the main hall of the manor to find that his mother was helping the house elves put up a Christmas tree. Draco just stopped and stared at it, thinking about him and Harry sitting beside a similar tree at Hogwarts. He couldn’t remember at the moment what they were talking about, but he knew they were playing chess and laughing. They were probably discussing Harry’s horrendous skills when it came to chess. Draco smiled sadly at the memory the tree brought him and quickly found out that a lot of what was being hung up as decorations were bringing back a lot of unwanted memories, of both an idealized future with Harry and of the small-time he got to spend with him. 

When Draco finished helping his mother he excused himself to go back up to his room. He couldn’t stand being in the middle of the festive atmosphere, not with the overwhelming feeling of something missing that he carried around with him. When he got back to his room he sat down on the floor with his back pressed up against the wall. 

“Why did you leave before we even got started,” Draco whispered to the room, letting his head drop between his knees. 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow that one was sad, I apologize for that. I also apologize for how short it was but I didn't really want to drag it out for very long if I'm being honest. I hope you enjoyed it though!   
> Follow me on tumblr at sczrhead.tumblr.com for any and all updates!
> 
> Thank you for reading and leave kudos or comments if you enjoyed it!


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